


Your Head is Far Too Blurry

by wayward_winter_soldier



Series: Cisco Ramon's Angst Playlist [5]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Cisco Ramon Needs A Hug, Cisco Ramon Whump, Episode: s03e13 Attack on Gorilla City, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Hurt Cisco Ramon, Kidnapping, Serious Injuries, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:42:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29528673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayward_winter_soldier/pseuds/wayward_winter_soldier
Summary: Season 3 Episode 13 "Attack on Gorilla City" but when Grodd reveals he needs Cisco to open a Breach for him he is a lot less nice about it and Team Flash is left to pick up the pieces.
Relationships: Julian Albert & Cisco Ramon
Series: Cisco Ramon's Angst Playlist [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2144382
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	Your Head is Far Too Blurry

Getting both kidnapped and possessed by a telepathic gorilla was not something Cisco Ramon considered fun. It didn't matter what Earth they were on. It would never be fun.

Another thing Cisco wouldn't consider fun would be his best friend lying unconscious on a filthy floor after fighting yet another telepathic gorilla. It was honestly coming to the point where, if Cisco hadn't lived through these adventures himself, he would doubt they had ever happened.

There was movement out of the corner of his eye and he looked over, watching as Barry stirred and regained consciousness.

"Oh... what happened?" the Speedster mumbled as he blinked his eyes open.

"Congratulations," Cisco replied in a sort of sarcastic tone. "You won."

Barry looked over, his eyes landing on Harry, who was still not awake.

"What about Harry?"

"He's still catatonic," said Caitlin, a sad expression across her face as she looked down at the doctor. 

Barry groaned as he began to push himself to his feet. Almost as if he had heard them speak of him, Harry's eyes opened and he stood rapidly. Barry sighed, knowing exactly what was going on.

"Flash."

"I won," Barry informed Grodd as if he hadn't known the outcome of the fight against Solovar. "Solovar promised to let us go."

"No," Grodd responded through Harry. 

"No? What do you..." Barry trailed off as he finally got to his feet. "I don't understand."

"Solovar's words mean nothing now."

"You never had any intentions of letting us go, did you?" Julian questioned, his voice laced in annoyance.

"I told you I needed you," Grodd continued. "I could not defeat Solovar in combat, but you could. You did, and now I am the ruler of Gorilla City, and all the gorillas will follow me."

Realization came over Barry. "Solovar never wanted to attack Central City. You do."

"You took my home away from me, and now I will take it back!" Grodd said through Harry as the latter came closer to the cell Barry was in. "The gorillas saw what you did, Flash. They saw you defeat Solovar, and now they are afraid of humans and will do anything I order and I will order them to invade your Earth, and your city will burn."

"You were planning this the whole time," Barry said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes," Grodd said, turning towards Caitlin for a moment. "Father taught me well. Always think ahead. And I had plenty of time to think in cages built by you and then by Solovar."

"Then why don't you just kill us?" Cisco piped up. he was getting sick and tired of villain monologues. They always took so long. "Huh? Since we already did your damn dirty work for you?"

"Still need you," Grodd informed.

"I'm not doing anything for you," Barry replied.

"Not you, Flash," Grodd said, Harry's finger raised and pointing past Barry. "You."

The team looked around, confused for a moment. Then they all realized who Grodd was talking about. Cisco.

"Me?" he asked, a hint of fear in his voice.

"You will open the Breach to First Earth. My army will cross that Breach, and all the humans in Central City will burn before Gorilla Kind!"

Barry shook his head. "Grodd, you are smart, maybe smarter than all of us, smart enough to know that you cannot do this. Intelligence and violence, they're opposites from each other. What you want to do, it's not logical, not for someone as wise as you are."

Grodd looked as if he was considering it for a moment. "You forget, Flash. I am an animal. I am a gorilla. Kill or be killed!"

"I'm gonna get out of this cell," Barry threatened, moving closer towards Harry. "And I'm gonna stop you."

Suddenly, Harry's body fell, Grodd severing the connection between them. There was a roar and Grodd entered the room himself, glaring at the captives.

"No, you won't. You will die."

Grodd walked down the line of cages, completely passing by Barry as he made his way down the line, his eyes glued on Cisco.

"Wait, don't!" Barry yelled, rushing towards the door of his cage and reaching his arms out as far as they would go.

Grodd ignored the Speedster, unlocking the cage with Julian and Cisco. Julian, for his part, stood in front of Cisco, a look of determination on his face despite the rapid beating of his heart.

"Julian, don't, he'll kill you," Cisco spoke softly, trying to mask the fear in his voice. He was well aware of the way his speech waivered and the sweatiness of his palms. Julian looked like he wanted to protest, but he couldn't argue with Cisco. He was right. Grodd would kill Julian, but he needed Cisco alive. Julian moved away from Cisco slowly, looking as if he rather be doing anything but that. Before Cisco could say anything or even take another step, Grodd grabbed his forearm roughly and dragged him from the cage, ignoring the cries that escaped the engineer as he locked the cage up once more and began to pull Cisco along with him, not seeming to care about the way the man's body was being dragged harshly against the dirty ground or the fact that his arm felt like it would be pulled off any minute.

"Leave him alone!" Barry cried, still pressed against the cage's door as he desperately reached out as if he could simply grab Cisco and pull him back towards him.

Grodd didn't dignify Barry's pleas with a response as he left, taking Cisco with him.

* * *

**_I'm coming apart at the seams._ **

Cisco cried out as Grodd threw him across the room, not seeming to care if Cisco got hurt or not. Cisco supposed it didn't matter how many bruises he had, so long as he could open a damn Breach. He winced as he pushed himself up to a sitting position, watching warily as Grodd paced about the room. He seemed to be lost in thought, or as lost in thought as a gorilla could get.

The engineer looked around the room, feeling more uncomfortable than he had in the cages. At least he had his friends with him. Here he was alone.

The room was just as plain as the room that held the cages had been. The floor was dirt and the walls stone. It was sort of like something from an Indiana Jones movie, which Cisco would have found a lot cooler if he wasn't being held hostage by an insanely smart gorilla. There wasn't too much in the room, some chains that worried Cisco and a pile of clean bones that worried him even more.

_**Pitching myself for leads in other people's dreams.** _

"I'm not opening a Breach for you, King Kong," Cisco said, trying his best to make his voice sound stronger than how he was actually feeling. "So forget it."

Grodd looked over, ceasing his pacing as he began walking closer and closer towards Cisco. The man recoiled as Grodd quickly grabbed Cisco by the collar of his T-shirt, lifting him up much higher in the air than he would have preferred.

"You will do what I ask or your friends will die."

The gorilla tossed Cisco aside once more, Cisco making a small sound of pain as his body rammed against the stone walls of the room. He curled up, trying to protect his body from whatever might come next.

"You are weak, human."

Cisco said nothing, squeezing his eyes tightly. There was a slight tug on his leg and he opened his eyes wide, looking for the source of the touch. It was Grodd attaching one of the metal chains around his ankle. The other end was bolted to the stone wall and Cisco wondered what sort of tools the gorillas had used to both make and secure the chains.

The engineer watched as Grodd left the room, leaving Cisco alone with his thoughts. 

_**Doc, there's a hole where something was.** _

* * *

Barry was pacing and he knew it was annoying but he couldn't stop. Cisco was in trouble. And it was all his fault.

_**Fell out of bed.** _

"It's not your fault," Caitlin said softly, knowing exactly what her friend was thinking.

Barry chuckled lightly but it was completely humorless. "Isn't it?"

"No, it's not. It's none of our fault. If you want to blame someone, blame Grodd."

Barry shrugged his shoulders, leaning against the bars of the cage. "Seems almost too easy."

"Sometimes it's that easy," Caitlin informed the Meta, a tight smile on her lips.

_**Butterfly bandage, but don't worry.** _

There was some movement from Caitlin's cell and Barry looked over, watching as Harry woke up. He groaned, rubbing his forehead.

"Harry?" Caitline questioned, looking at the man suspiciously for a moment.

"Yeah, Snow. It's me."

Barry sighed with relief. At least one thing was going right in their lives at the moment.

"What is he going to do to Cisco?" Julian wondered out-loud, a deep frown on his face. He hadn't known Cisco for that long and even in the amount of time they'd known each other they didn't hang out that much. Cisco was smart but he had a habit of being annoying, in Julian's opinion. He talked too much sometimes and he quoted way too many movies. But now he was feeling bad about every thinking a negative thought about the engineer.

"He won't kill him. Not yet. He still needs him."

Julian nodded. That made sense. He had to think logically in a situation like this. He couldn't let his emotions get the best of him.

**_You'll never remember, your head is far too blurry._ **

"Where's Ramon? What happened?"

Caitlin gave Harry a sad smile. "Grodd took him. He needs him to open a Breach to Earth-1. He's going to destroy Central City."

Harry nodded, though he still seemed a bit dazed. He attempted to stand but couldn't manage to get to his feet. Caitlin rushed to his side, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"You need to rest. Doctor's orders."

Harry grumbled something that sounded vaguely like a curse but he listened to Caitlin and remained seated.

* * *

**_Put him in the back of a squad car, restrain that man._ **

Cisco pulled on the chain, hoping it would give out. How sophisticated could a jungle chain possibly be?

Apparently very sophisticated, Cisco thought bitterly as he realized he hadn't even scratched up the walls. He had already tried shooting a sonic blast at the wall but there must have been dampeners in this room too. Great. Just his luck. 

Cisco let his head rest against the wall, forgetting about trying to break the chain. Without his powers, there was no way to break it. Plus, there weren't even any tools in the room that could help. Only bones that he really hoped weren't human.

**_He needs his head put through a cat scan._ **

He knew he couldn't give Grodd what he wanted. He would destroy all of Central City, even the world if he really wanted to. Cisco was the only thing standing between the destruction of his own world. But what if Grodd killed his friends? He couldn't let that happen, even if it would change the timeline. Maybe he should try and kill himself. No Cisco, no Breach. He wasn't sure how his friends would get back home, but at least Grodd wouldn't have him to do his dirty work.

Cisco wasn't too crazy about the idea of killing himself, but did he really have a choice? Greater good, and all, right?

How was he even supposed to kill himself? Hang himself with the chain around his ankle? It was nearly long enough to get from his ankle to his neck with enough still left over to wrap around his throat.

Cisco paused his thoughts of death at the thundering sound of Grodd approaching. He looked up to see the gorilla enter the room. he couldn't really read his facial expressions, but he assumed the gorilla wasn't smiling.

_**Hey editor, I'm undeniable.** _

"You will Breach me to your Earth."

Cisco sneered at the very words. "No, I don't think I'm gonna do that."

He didn't know what he was expecting to happen, but the gorilla crossing the room and grabbing him by his neck was not it.

Cisco struggled in Grodd's grasp, trying his best to breathe.

"I will hurt you."

"Yeah," Cisco coughed, his voice strained. "But you can't kill me."

Grodd dropped Cisco to the ground with a thud. The engineer landed on his side and knew he was going to have bruises after this.

"No. I can make you wish you were dead."

**_Hey doctor, I'm certifiable._ **

Cisco was expecting to be hit, but there was nothing. Grodd was standing over him, his eyes closed. What was he doing, Cisco wondered as he tried to push himself back into the wall. There were footsteps approaching, though they weren't loud enough to belong to a gorilla. Cisco watched the entrance, waiting nervously for what was to come.

"Harry?"

Cisco wasn't sure what he was doing here, just walking around. Then he thought about it a little more after seeing the deadly look in the doctor's eyes.

"Not Harry."

Harry- well, technically Grodd- walked closer and closer towards Cisco, a sneer on his face that reminded him too much of Eobard Thawne.

"Harry, I know you're in there-"

The doctor sent a swift kick to Cisco's stomach, making the younger man cry out in pain. He tried to crawl away from the man but he wasn't going anywhere with the chain around his ankle.

_**Oh, I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine.** _

Harry grabbed Cisco by the collar of his shirt, not caring that the graphic tee ripped a bit under his grip. Cisco flinched, expecting a punch, but Harry instead threw him against the stone wall. Cisco could feel tears begin to well up in the corner of his eyes as he wrapped his arms around his stomach. This was bringing up terrible memories that Cisco had assumed he had gotten over. Perhaps his trauma was a little deeper than he had originally thought.

"Harry, please-"

Cisco didn't know what he had expected. There wasn't any point in trying to get through to Harry. The taller man lifted Cisco up once more but punched him in the face this time before dropping him once more.

"Open Breach," Harry spoke, his voice deep and off-putting.

Cisco spat a bit of blood onto the dirt floor. "No."

**_What a match I'm half doomed and you're semi-sweet._ **

There was a growl and Cisco was pulled up by his hair. He could feel Harry pushing him against the wall, forcing him to stand on his own for a moment.

"Just give up."

Cisco weakly shook his head. He could barely manage to stand. He probably would have fallen back to the ground if not for the wall. There were only a few seconds of rest before Harry came back, a pair of pliers in his hand that Cisco recognized as his own. They must have gone through his backpack.

"Breach."

"No!"

Harry grabbed Cisco's hand, forcing his fingers apart. Cisco tried to struggle, but Vulcan Mind-Melding with Grodd must have given him more strength since he easily got Cisco's pointer finger free. He took the pliers in his other hand and wedged them under his fingernail, pulling in an agonizingly slow way.

Cisco swore, tears finally falling down his face as he squeezed his eyes closed in pain. 

_**So boycott love.** _

Cisco felt the pliers go for another fingernail and he continued to sob, not caring how weak he looked.

* * *

Julain heard the screams first. Or maybe he didn't. Maybe he was just the first one to acknowledge them.

"That's Cisco," the CSI spoke softly as if he was in a church or a library, not a gorilla prison. Like there was a stern librarian perched at her desk ready to shush anyone whose voice reached a certain decibel. But they were alone, not even a gorilla stood guard. None had come since they took Harry away.

He waited for Caitlin or Barry to ask him how he knew for sure that it was Cisco. He was almost wishing for the question, though he didn't know why. Why do you know what Cisco screaming sounds like, Barry would ask with that little look of confusion he had so often. Julian wasn't sure he would even tell the truth if asked, which just made him more confused as to why a small part of his brain wanted to be asked the question. As if it needed to prove that Julian knew things the others didn't. That when he stayed late at S.T.A.R. Labs he would hear the screams of Cisco Ramon as he slept on the fold-away cot in his workshop, obviously having a nightmare that Julian couldn't even begin to psychoanalyze. 

**_Detox just to retox._ **

Maybe they knew what Cisco's screams sounded like. They must have known what Cisco dreamed of when he let out those terrible, horrible shouts of pain that no one could begin to help him with. Never wake someone from a nightmare. He read that somewhere once. 

_**And I'd promise you anything for another shot at life.** _

Did Julian care about Cisco? He wasn't sure. Caitlin was right about him, he needed to work on his social skills. He thought of all the things he should do with Cisco once they got out of this place. Take him out for a drink. Did he like operas? He didn't seem like an opera guy, but looks could be deceiving. 

"Grodd said he needed him. He won't kill him."

Barry sounded like he was trying harder to convince himself than the other two captives. Maybe he didn't really believe his own words, Julian thought, dragging his fingers against the dirt that laid on the ground of the cell. Maybe that was his job as the Flash. He had to be the symbol of calm in the face of disaster. If he broke everyone broke and it all went to hell. 

_**Imperfect boys with their perfect ploys.** _

Caitlin looked like she might cry at any moment. She had been looking like that a lot more recently, Julian said to himself in his head. She was always so sad, like a kicked puppy. He thought of the time she had kidnapped him. He didn't have any hard feelings against her for that, not like he used to at least. He sort of wished he was nearer to her so he could hug her, though he didn't think he would actually hug her. Another weird thought his mind had produced.

_**Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy.** _

"Julian, you okay?"

Julian was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of Barry's voice. He noticed both he and Caitlin were looking at him as if he had just grown three heads and declared his love to Barry through a Shakespeare sonnet. 

"Fine. Just... worried, is all," Julian forced a smile, knowing they would see right through it. That wasn't the point. The point wasn't to make them think he was okay. The point was to make them think he at least had his shit together enough to still be a valuable member of the team. 

"It's okay to not be okay," Caitlin said, sounding like an inspirational Facebook post that Julian's mum would post.

"Well, I'm okay."

* * *

Cisco blinked his eyes open, cringing at the amount of pain that overcame him. 

**_Little girl, you got me staring odd._ **

He must have passed out, he thought as he felt his head swirl in a flurry of migraines. His eyes laid upon his fingers and he couldn't help but cringe at his complete lack of fingernails. A few scattered around him on the floor but he didn't have the guts to look at them. He would definitely have puked.

_**Or was that just a telescopic camera nod.** _

There was the tell-tale sound of footsteps that Cisco had come much too accustomed to. Harry was coming and he had to remind him it wasn't really Harry. Harry wouldn't pry his fingernails out one by one. Harry wouldn't kick him in the stomach. This wasn't Harry. 

"Open the Breach."

Cisco only shook his head. He didn't have the energy to even say the word no. Was this a sign of giving up? He wasn't sure. He felt like he could give up. Maybe if he was lucky he'd die.

"I will not continue to tolerate your disobedience."

Cisco wanted to ask when he had ever tolerated his disobedience, but he didn't. He honestly wasn't given a chance to anyway as he watched as Harry took his left leg in his hands and twisted it, breaking the bone.

Cisco screamed, and he knew it was loud and that that was exactly what Grodd wanted to hear, but he didn't care. It hurt like hell and he was going to let everyone know about it. Tears streamed down his face and he didn't even try to wipe them away. When he finally opened his eyes he almost puked at the sight of his bone sticking through his dirty jeans.

_**Painted doors in the highway truck stop stalls.** _

"Harry... please..."

The other leg was next and Cisco's vision was blurry through the tears as Harry viciously broke his other leg. Cisco didn't even check to see if the bone had stuck out of that leg. He passed out right away.

* * *

"We have to get out of here and save Cisco," Barry spoke, his eyes darting from Caitlin to Julian.

"How? You can't phase through the bars."

Barry sighed, running his hand through his hair as he thought. 

"Kill me."

"What? No!" Caitlin said, her voice growing higher and higher.

"I don't mean actually kill me. Fake my death and get me out of the cell, then we get Cisco and Harry and go home."

"How would we do that?" Julian questioned, intrigued by the idea but not knowing how they could possibly pull the stunt off.

_**Lot-lizards scales to deny my rules.** _

Barry looked towards Caitlin and Julian's eyes followed. The doctor seemed to think about the notion for a moment before replying.

"Guys, no. What if I lose control?"

"I trust you, Caitlin. You won't."

"I could actually kill you, Barry!"

Julian decided he would chime in at that moment. He didn't exactly know what he should say, so he elected for a sort of word-vomit response and hoped that it didn't sound too mushy.

"Caitlin, you can do it. We believe in you."

The doctor toyed with the necklace around her neck for another few seconds before nodding in a determined sort of way.

* * *

Cisco couldn't even curl up anymore. His legs had to be laid flat out in front of him or a rush of pain would overcome him. He couldn't move his legs or the same pain would overtake him and send him into another spiral of sobs and curses and prayers. He wanted to die even more now.

Harry seemed to have been waiting for him to wake back up. What was the point of torture if the victim couldn't feel all the pain you put them through?

"All you have to do is open Breach," Harry informed the broken man before him, that sneer still on his face that shook Cisco to his core.

Cisco weakly shook his head, a tear trailing down his cheek. No matter what he had to protect Central City. That's what heroes do. That's what Barry would do.

**_All the rookies leave your badge and your gun on the desk, when you leave the room._ **

"You are not brave. You are no martyr. You are foolish."

Cisco had to agree with the gorilla on that one. He wasn't brave and he was far from a martyr. Perhaps he really was just a fool. Perhaps he had gone through all this pain for nothing. Perhaps Grodd would take over Earth-1 anyway, despite Cisco's efforts. 

Harry walked closer to Cisco, his eyes trailing over Cisco's horribly broken legs. The engineer expected the worse. He wasn't sure what he would do now, though. What was worse than two broken legs, he bitterly thought.

"Ramon?"

Cisco blinked in confusion at Harry, who looked as if a fog had unclouded his eyes. Like he could finally see.

"Oh my God, Ramon-"

There was a burst of lightning and the rest of the team was there, their faces not hiding the shock at seeing Cisco's broken body.

_**I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine.** _

"Cisco, oh my God, your legs!" Caitlin gasped, walking over slowly as if walking too fast would injure his legs even more.

"We need to get out of here. Cisco, can you still open a Breach?"

Cisco nodded slowly, a small smile on his face. Maybe things were looking up after all, he thought, his brain loony from all the pain.

"I did this," Harry said, his voice in a state of shock. "This is my fault."

"No," Cisco breathed, speaking slightly harder than he had expected it to be. "Not your fault."

_**What a match.** _

"Cisco, this is gonna hurt, and I'm sorry," Barry said as he phased through the cuff around Cisco's ankle and began to prepare to pick him up.

"Just be careful of his legs," Caitlin requested, her stomach twisting and turning at the sight of the bones sticking out and the inane amount of blood staining his already dirty jeans.

"I'll try," Barry sighed, carefully lifting Cisco to carry him in a sort of bridal style way. Cisco bit back a cry of pain at the way Barry jostled his legs. 

"Let's get the hell outta dodge," Julian said, giving Cisco a comforting smile.

_**I'm half doomed and you're semi-sweet.** _

Cisco returned it before the team was zoomed off out of the city limits of Gorilla City.

**Author's Note:**

> song featured in the fic is disloyal order of water buffaloes by fall out boy


End file.
